Never Settle

The area where I see most of my clients making their worst decisions, no matter how brilliant they are in business, is in their love relationships. Why? Because typically there’s an imbalance of logic versus emotion dominating their decisions. Anytime your emotions are FULLY controlling your choices, expect to be derailed. Just like with business decisions, when you select a partner you need to look at the historical patterns and current patterns of your interactions, and ask yourself quality questions to receive quality answers that can help you develop a quality relationship.

  • Is this relationship aligned with my deepest beliefs and values?
  • Does this person satisfy my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs or just one or two of these areas?
  • What behavioral patterns do they have that work for me? Don’t work for me?
  • What shared goals and dreams do we have?
  • Do I find it joyful or inspiring to spend time with this person?

It’s easy to get “sucked in” to relationships because of our strong need to be loved and give love to others. Relationships (especially romantic ones) play into one of the greatest human fears, that we aren’t lovable or that we just aren’t enough. It’s easy to get off course and settle for less than your ideal relationship when fear is your motivator. Fear of not being loved can override the little or big voice inside you that is whispering or screaming to you that this person is just not the right for you.

The good news is, you can use logic and intuition to engage certain behaviors that will help you find the right fit! When you raise your standards and don’t let fear rule your decision making, you’ll never settle for less than you deserve. Also, knowing ahead of time what you absolutely MUST have in a relationship and what you absolutely MUST NOT have can add clarity and logic, when your emotions might be in overload. And last but not least, let joy be your compass and barometer for your best match. Are you just killing time with this person or are you genuinely in “joy” and enjoying the time that you are investing in this relationship?

Remember, in relationships, people can only give you what they have. If someone in a relationship is not giving you what you want, it is for one of two reasons, either they aren’t invested in the relationship at the same level as you are or they just don’t have it to give.

 

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